


The most exercise some people get is jumping to the wrong conclusion

by meet_the_girl_who_can



Series: Immortals Unleashed [2]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Academia, Fluff and Humor, Heteronormativity, M/M, Mild Language, POV Nile Freeman, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27406756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meet_the_girl_who_can/pseuds/meet_the_girl_who_can
Summary: “Depends on the century, huh?”“And the citations” Joe adds smoothlyThe gang attends a poetry lecture held by an academic who is a fan of Joe's work. Unfortunately, the guy's gotten a key fact seriously wrong.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Immortals Unleashed [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001094
Comments: 21
Kudos: 502





	The most exercise some people get is jumping to the wrong conclusion

Nile isn’t a hundred percent what’s going on here, but she knows one of them will tell her eventually. Story of her life. They’re hunkered down at the back of a lecture theatre at NYU, listening to a public lecture about the poetry of one J. Jones, ‘a famously anonymous recluse whose enduring love poetry has often been compared to Shakespeare’s sonnets.

Hearing that, Andy had snorted, and then done a marvellous impression of blushing embarrassedly and waving an apologetic hand at the lecturer for interrupting his impassioned words. Nile quirks an eyebrow at her until Andy leans in and whispers “Apparently the good old bard nicked a good few phrases from Jones”

“More than a few, Boss” Joe had corrected out of the side of his mouth, never taking his eyes off the guest lecturer. There’s a strange gleam about him today, there has been ever since Nicky had come back to the safe house in Brooklyn waving the glossy flyer advertising the lecture at him yesterday.

Beside him, their entwined hands rested on his knee, Nicky had just nodded, a barely-there smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Something’s definitely going on. For one, Andy rarely comes to these sorts of things but she’d just grinned and said something about needing a laugh. Sandwiched in between Joe and Andy, Nile listens carefully, although now she’s distracted, wondering which bits of the guy’s speech will prove wildly inaccurate when she gets the full story later on.

They’re only about twenty minutes in. While he can’t be faulted for his passionate extolling of Jones’ talents, he hasn’t actually mentioned the poetry itself yet - the guy can talk for England - when it all kicks off.

“-And, what’s really to be praised, here when I show you the next slide, is the lyrical ease of Jones’ praise of his lover. The way that he says that her thoughts ‘make music of the mundane’ or compares her ‘ethereal beauty’ to that of the moon. Although he doesn’t make any comparison to Artemis, probably because the Greek Gods, so famously invoked by his contemporaries such as Shakespeare, would often invoke their wrath by being compared and found wanting against a mortal. You can see that this is a man already consumed with passion for his mistress. Really, as we will see this man’s anthology is a pinnacle of man’s desire for women represented in the written word-“

There’s an odd choking sound at her elbow, Nile glances round and sees that both Joe and Nicky are doubled over in the seats, laughing their handsome heads off.

Nicky’s snorting with laughter, actually snorting. Nile doesn’t think she’s ever seen him laugh so hard. He’s beautiful in it, shoulders shaking, a full grin on his face. Joe’s not much better, rocking with giggles, handsome face glowing, those big eyes gleaming bright and crinkled around the edges. They try to tamp down on it. But then they turn to each other and when their eyes meet, it just sets them off again, worse than before. After a minute, Joe obviously gives up trying to contain himself and struggles to his feet, pulling Nicky with him. They tumble out of the end of the aisle and dash for the exit, quickly disappearing from view. Nile jumps up too. Out of the corner of her eye, Andy’s risen gracefully from her seat as well. She spares an apologetic glance at the lecturer, who seems, understandably a little put out at this childish interruption to his singing of Jones’ praises. But probably, he’s gotten something terribly, awfully wrong in his analysis if Joe and Nicky are laughing that hard.

“C’mon, let’s go find where they’ve got to” Andy nudges her along, and when she turns, it’s to see that their leader is grinning away like it’s Christmas morning.

When they eventually do find Joe and Nicky, the two of them are hiding by the vending machines in the lobby, still snickering. They’re holding each other up, Nicky’s face pressed into Joe’s neck, hands wrapped around each other’s forearms.

“-shouldn’t have…written them in English”

“-thought that would mini- minimise things getting lost… in translation but _obviously not”_

“Okay” Nile smiles, when they catch sight of the other two watching them, “Which part was glaringly historically inaccurate?”

“Oh, well-“ Joe coughs. He’s got tears in his eyes, “Sorry, Nile, I forgot you wouldn’t know, ahem, oh _fuck”_ he chokes again, “Sorry –it's just that-“ he says something else but it gets lost in the rumbles of laughter. Nicky’s biting his lip, head tipped up to the ceiling, as he tries to stop laughing, not even trying to explain their reaction.

Finally, Andy takes pity and nudges Nile again with that wide, indulgent smile she gets at moments like these, watching them all fondly. “Joe wrote those poems about Nicky. Jones was an alias of his, back in the 1500s too” she explains patiently.

Nile’s first thought is wondering just precisely how much this lot has contributed to artistic works over the centuries. But then the lecturer’s words float back to her, about how much their apparently not so anonymous poet had loved his muse, had called her the moon of his life. Well, calling Nicky ‘ya amar’ was Joe’s preferred endearment for his husband so why -

Ah. _Her,_ the guy had said, when talking about Jones – Joe’s – inspiration. His _mistress_. Something about ‘appreciation of women’s beauty’ had been in there as well.

“Oh, no”

“Oh, yes” Joe sighs brushing a hand over his curls, finally sobering up. “I honestly don’t know where he got the notion that I was describing a woman. I mean, he’s obviously a fan, which is always nice. That’s why we were interested to hear what he would say. But God, I didn’t think someone could misinterpret my works _that_ blindly”

“Didn’t you write an ode to Nicky’s cock, I seem to remember?” Andy asks jovially.

“As Jones?” Joe rubs at his beard, taps a finger to his jaw as he ponders Andy’s question. “Yeah, I did. Maybe he hasn’t seen it, I haven’t looked at that corner of my literary contributions in decades. If I haven’t, I will, because that…travesty cannot be allowed to continue” he waves a hand distractedly at the lecture hall. “I write love poems for my husband and a few centuries later some heteronormative child mangles them. Plus, we're not mortal, so none of that crap he was spouting about Artemis applies anyway– which half the legends I think came about because of another immortal protectress of women we all know whose name begins with ‘A’”

“No way” Nile gaped at Andy, who just shrugged, eyes twinkling between her uneven fringe. “But she was the goddess of chastity?” Nile claps a hand over her mouth, “Not that – I “

Andy just laughed, rich and full and rare, tongue darting out to lick that full lower lip proudly “You turn down some sanctimonious bastards, they call you a prude, it gets written down and taken as gospel. Ever heard of Acteon? Let’s just say they became very…’deer’ to me, after that.” A laugh startled out of Nile and Joe winked at her, hand finding Andy’s shoulder to give it a fond squeeze as she continued “My stories have long outlasted both them and the lives I’ve led. Case in point” she waved a finger at the banner advertising Jones – Joe’s poetry – across the room.

Something thunks into place in Nile’s chest, something old and impossible and wonderful all at once. This type of eternity has always comforted her. “So we really never die”

“No-one ever does. Not really” Joe grins, interlacing his fingers with Nicky’s “If we remember them, they can come back. Even the people we used to be. Like Joseph Jones the First, young and in love and so sure of his own meaning he didn’t even think anyone would pay attention to his scribbling let alone be a ‘defining voice of his time’”

“You are a defining voice of eternity, my love” Nicky compliments peacefully and then, somehow sweetly outraged, “And I like your scribbling”

Joe goes starry-eyed, and leans into Nicky, kissing him hotly for a long moment, “And that’s all that matters to me. Besides which, that poor bastard won’t like my scribblings much after I dig out some ‘previously unseen source material’, if that is okay with you, Hayati?”

Nicky nods solemnly, “Of course, my love. You know how I feel about burning that bridge when we get to it” and Joe smiles.

“What-?” Nile starts but Andy heads her off affectionately.

“I’ll tell you a story sometime, kid”

“What’re you going to do?” Nile asks apprehensively, this lot has a different scale in terms of appropriate signals and battle plans.

Joe grins and this time, the light gleams off his teeth. The one thing an academic hates most. Write a rebuttal using one of my own degrees, showcasing all the holes in his research. Nice and easy. He’s trying to fetch water in a sieve as it is”

These impossible people. No wonder they’re immortal, they have so much life in them, one would never be enough. She fixes Joe with a wry not-quite glare, recalling a conversation that feels like a different lifetime ago itself “Depends on the century, huh?”

“And the citations” Joe adds, ever smooth, leading the way out.

Nicky starts laughing again.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a true story! 
> 
> The lesbian poet renee vivien anonymously wrote a book of love poetry about her girlfriend and when they attended a lecture about it, the guy giving the lecture was talking about how the book's author was obviously 'a young man consumed with passion for his first mistress'. The two women were laughing so hard at this they had to leave the room. 
> 
> As ever these days, my brain went: Joe x Nicky AU
> 
> I'm on tumblr @ meet-the-girl-who-can if you'd like to come say hi!


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